Confessions of a {Daydreamer}

 I was out wandering looking for a place to take a picture and found this little spot. My outfits often don't really seem to quite go with my surroundings, and though its not always done purposefully, there are always reasons behind it. Although I'm not always entirely sure what those reasons are until I think on it more.  The more I look at the picture, the more I started thinking about the Queen.  For one, I am currently surrounded by Queen Anne's Lace in the picture. But that only spurred on more thoughts. For me and many others, she'll always be someone I wish I could have met and really talked to. Was she what the many documentaries and movies and books and etc etc paint her to be? Or was she completely different deep down?  I can't even imagine being born into the knowing that your life will never be yours. That you were born to live up to what everyone needed you to be.  My life seems boring and mundane sometimes, and maybe I might envy an incredibly weal...

 When I try to gain control of all the craziness in my life.. well sometimes it just gets worst lol..  I sort of feel like I'm floating above everything sometimes. I'm able to watch it all happening but can't seem to get to it all to fix it. Or maybe it's because I don't want to. The path of least resistance is to just let it all happen instead of trying to be a part of it.. be responsible for it.  Seems like a good plan at first, but it also means I'm sorta just stuck. Just up here floating and not really going anywhere. And I really want to go places.  Its been a wild and crazy summer and I'm ready for a relaxing fall.. yeah like that will happen LOL But its nice sometimes to just take a break and play with pictures, so thats just what I did! Some stuff I'm wearing...  !TLB - Estrid Sandals Magika - Hair - Artisan  Over - Pain Pants VINYL - Plague Doctors Band Tee Picture was taken at Sunny's Photo Studio on the Girl Li platform using the Witchcraf...

  Life has been in a bit of a crisis mode for to many days. My family has needed my focus so much that its left so much undone around me. And now, I sit here feeling .. well, hungry seems a good description.  I feel so very hungry because in the crisis I can't even focus on feeding all my needs.  There was a time in my life where even if the crisis ended I would still starve myself, almost like I was expecting the next shoe to fall so intensely that I couldn't just let the stress go and allow myself to focus on just normal living again.  That doesn't work for me anymore and while crisis does still happen, I refuse to live there and deny myself the joys of life. I'm gonna feed myself what my body and soul deserve! What I'm wearing...  Magika - Hair - Sienna  Oubliette- Woodland ll Phoebe Tube Dress (Available at Midsummer Enchantment Event until >>July 10th!!!!<<) Addams // Frida Ripped Jeans  friday - Hera Sandals (Fawn) 

Another pick with me playing with goodies from the Midsummer Enchantment Event that runs until the 10th which is very quickly approaching!! My nails are Enchanting Foils from Eventyra. 

The Midsummer Enchantment event is starting to wind down but there are still a few shopping days left. The skin I'm wearing is a hunt item I found! There are other colors, but I'm terrible at hunts lol!  Hopefully you'll do much better and find all 3!! What I'm wearing....  ~Edie's~ Lorna Skin (EvoX) - Pink Fairy - 10L Hunt Item at Midsummer Enchantment event (1 of 3 shades) Nar Mattaru - Glassy Eyes {Gray} Magika - Hair - Artisan -Pixicat- Era Sweater - LeatherBlack  Picture taken at Sunny's Photo Studio using the Data Reader pose. 

"I'm different. Always have been. It took a while but  I have accepted  that I am magick not meant for everyone to understand,  so they question. That's ok.  I will stay in my lane being all magickal and stuff." (I don't know where this came from but Mousie sent it to me earlier and it just felt like me.) What I'm wearing...  Magika - Hair - Darla  !TLB - Widow's Peak (Evox) (Available at Midsummer Enchantment Event) ^^Swallow^^ Earrings Pixie Gauged  zOOm - Top and Skirt (available at Midsummer Enchantment event)  Sanguine Sport Socks [LF] Miko Tights - Bones Phedora ~ Benjamin Chunky Sneakers  Picture taken at Sunny's Studio using the pose Lux Travel (party)

  Just another little picture I did to show off two of the items you can pick up at the Midsummer Enchantment Event. The grass behind the mushroom and poking up out of the pond  and the fairy dancer (her wings flap!) are all from Love. They will be available until the 10th of July. My first picture in this series has all the links you might need :)

 Really excited to be doing another round of  Midsummer Enchantment hosted by Dark Passion Events! This round ends on July 10th so still plenty of shopping days left! If you would like to see everything on offer you can either look through their guide on the website or stop by and check out all the vendors to see all the cool stuff for sale. And like always there are also the hunt prizes to be found! What I'm wearing...  !TLB - Elegant Headchain (available at the Midsummer event until July 10th) Magika - Hair - Monarch  ^^Swallow^^ Earrings Pixie Gauged (OMG I love my new ears!) !TLB - Tabitha Dress (available at the Midsummer event) Stuff from the event that I decorated with! Love - Haregrass (you'll see it behind the mushroom I'm sitting on) Love - Luna Fairy (the cute little fairies in the pond - their wings flap!!)

  Everyone talks about there being this time in history when things were better. The golden age, simplier times, etc etc.. I don't think thats a real thing. I think things have always been exactly as they are.  The elite, the rich, the powerful preying on the weak. Inflation means that even though it appears we make more money now, we really don't have any more than the people that were paid a dollar for a week's labor. We have vacuums that work for us.. how can life really be harder now?  So what really constitutes better, easier times? What makes a Golden Age golden?  What if its really just all about your perception? Maybe its all about what we make of it and not what it might appear to be? Maybe whatever time we find ourself in can be the golden age if that is what we decide it is?  *Shrugs* Just questions I sometimes think about  :) What I'm wearing...  NOVA. Jae hair BEO_Liona_necklace  -Pixicat- Yara Cardigan - PinStripeBlack -Pixicat- Yara...

 "Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?" (Reflection from Mulan) That song used to get to me so bad.  I would cry every time I heard it.  I was an early bloomer as a child and all my underdeveloped "friends" tormented me daily, calling me fat and ugly. I can remember one day we were on a field trip to a big university near me. There was a larger girl that walked by us on her way to class and several of my classmates started snickering and pointed at her then said to me "That'll be you when you grow up" and continued to laugh about it the rest of the day.  The thing is, I wasn't overweight at all (and incidently neither was that girl they made fun of), but for so many years I carried that extra weight with me. I'd look in the mirror and just see this huge, ugly, fat monster. I just wanted to be someone that people could love and I really thought it was impossible.  I never realized how ...

I have been having some wild dreams lately! It seems they are often centered around school. Either I'm the teacher and I've lost my class or can't find my classroom or I'm a student with the same problem.  I often wake up feeling like I've been running around all night!  I feel like dreams are messages, guidance from our higher selves or guides outside ourselves so I know I have to pay attention and figure out this pattern.  I just hope that once I figure it out I can go back to just sleeping at night! >.< What I'm wearing...  Magika - Hair - Addison  Decoy - Laliz Jacket: Black  BUENO-Seattle Leggings Phedora ~ Rojer Unisex Boots  Taken at Sunny's Photo Studio on platform Girl A-Le using Black Love pose. 

 I'm always hearing songs that make me think of him. Not just because I love him so much, but because he changed my life so completely. With him, I know what love really looks like.  When we say forever, it takes on a whole new meaning that I could have never imagined before him. I know this because should we ever have to say goodbye in this life, he'll find me again in the next. "It can make you better, it can change you slowly And give you everything you want, ask for nothing in return In the blink of an eye, the hint of a smile In the way you say goodbye, and everytime you find me." (Love Exists - Amy Lee) What I'm wearing...  Stealthic - Lavish  ^^Swallow^^ Deer Skull Right Hand  {C&C} Bast Necklace Blueberry - Romance - Dress With Sleeves Taken at Sunny's Photo Studio on platform Girl A-Le using pose Celestial Foxcity

Maybe I'm to optimistic and maybe someone might say I have my head in the sand, but as much as media/social media try to ignore it or downplay it, I can't help but see all the good things happening in our world.  And maybe if we all started looking for the good more than the bad, there just might be more good than bad one day.  What I'm wearing...  CELESTE - Celestial - Neck  Stealthic - Lavish  Witch In A Box / Cordelia Blouse  Witch In A Box / Cordelia Heels  Witch In A Box / Cordelia Pants  {C&C} Bast Necklace  Picture taken at Sunny's Photo Studio on platform Girl A-Le using Highstreet pose

 I was always the kid that was really good at the hiding part of Hide n' Go Seek as a child. I'd pop out after everyone else had been found and everyone was starting to give up looking for me. We'd laugh and carry on with the next game. It was a skill that followed me into adulthood, only it became less of a skill and more of a problem.  I took care of my family, loved my kids, did the best I could do at my job, regularly attended church, paid my bills, etc.. all the thiings "good adults" are supposed to do and I thought my life was good because everyone else around me was happy. Unfortunately though, at some point I wasn't really part of the game anymore. I hid me away until one day even I stopped looking for me.  Then 4 years ago a wreck could have taken my life. It was so close its still scary. But its funny how after that moment I started finding me again.  Here I am 4 years later and doing all these "firsts" that I've wanted to do for years ...

Nope that doesn't mean I'm feeling sad. Blue is my favorite color and it just makes me feel so happy and at peace. I'm a very happy girl, so felt appropriate :) What I'm wearing.... Stealthic - Allure  {C&C} Bast Necklace  Witch In A Box / Circe Dress  Blueberry - Alicia - Pants - Low Cut - Cutiebootie Taken at Sunny's Photo Studio on the Girl A-Le platform using the FP sit03 pose. 

 Just felt like posting a favorite picture I did a while back.  I'm still trying to get this blogging thing back together >.< I enjoy coming up with pictures, though some days are hit or miss, but this day was fun. I have sort of a look that leans more goth I guess, but it feels like I'm always picking these pretty, flowery backgrounds! I don't mind being a mix of things. Contrast can be very pretty. I don't know if this picture was so much pretty, but I sure loved how it turned out. I love my light and my shadows, because they make me, well.. me :) Stuff I'm wearing...  (fd) Knit Chill Sweater - Black  - Dripping Ichor Earrings -R/RED- A MESH Product by Khyle Sion  / HEAD / lel EvoX AVALON 4. torment. spellthief - glasses [black] (uncommon)  A N E Chunky Stone Necklace Ruby  Corvus : Dead Inara Boots Maitreya  Corvus : Fishnet Gloves Maitreya  Corvus : Unicat Sofia Dress Maitreya  PROMAGIC Emily Lip Jewel-EvoX  e.marie // Kes...

 There are many days I'd love to just go lay out and stargaze a bit, but my back no longer allows such luxury >.< The joys of aging lol. But hey, at least I can still do it in SL, so there is the upside! What I'm wearing...  Witch in a Box - my dress if from the Edwina set but I am wearing the boots from the Raven set. I feel like I'm becoming a little bit obsessed with this store! There is just so many ways to wear all their stuff, plus most of them come as outfits so you even get some decent shoes out of it. Taken at Sunny's Studio using pose Bad Blood (I think that is on the Girls A-Le platform but I forgot to write it down)

  Yes its sort of a dark picture and I hope it shows up right for others, but something about it just really felt right to me. I don't know that I quite acchieved the sorta silhoute look I was going for but it felt pretty to me >.< What I'm wearing (if you can see it, that is)...  Magika - Celeste Agata - Romy Top and Skirt Witch in a Box - Edwina Heels (came with the Edwina outfit not pictured here) Taken at Sunny's Studion on platform Girls A-Le using pose 109 Poses

 What to do on a Friday night when you have nothing to do?  Create your own universe! Or something like that anyway lol What I'm wearing...  Magika - Hair - Sadie CELESTE - Celestial - Necklace Oubliette- Onyx Bruja Top  .: vive nine :. Totally Destroyed Jeans Phedora ~ Tyler Boots  Taken at Sunny's Studio using the pose Amara on the Girls A-Le platform

Picture taken in a pretty little magic shop on the Tilherya sim. If you haven't visited, you need to go ASAP. There are tons of cute little cuddle spots and the ladies who put this place together are very talented! If you like it enough you can even live there! Rentals are still available!  Stuff I'm wearing..  Magika - Hair - Sadie  zOOm - Astral Outfit Top  CELESTE - Celestial - Neck Top  {C&C} Bast Necklace  .: vive nine :. Daya Wide Leg Jeans - Black  .STOIC. MAJIKKU CRYSTAL (its a nifty little typer but you also just hold the crystal in your hand! Sparkles not included) 

 Sometimes its not about waiting til you are in some ideal situation to start growing and changing your life. Just gotta start growing where you are.  It's been my experience in my own life but in all the listening to others that I've done over the years, that so many of us compare our growth to others instead of just celebrating ourselves. Its not a bad thing to give yourself credit for how far you've come. Even if the only thing you've been able to change is being able to get out of bed. My self talk goes something like this... Everything step in the right direction counts. Stop selling yourself short just because you aren't where someone else is. Life is not a competition with others. Its a competition with yourself. Judge yourself by your own rules and if you are falling short.. well improve from there. If you want to get somewhere, well.. add your next step to your list and tomorrow take it. But stop worrying about what step others are on. Stuff I'm wearing...

 Found a really pretty spot at the Ostara's Alter sim. So I had to pick me up a new outfit for it and what better place that where I'm currently standing!!  The sim is always so beautiful. I just wish I could decorate my own land as well >.< Also playing around with the face app I've seen so many SL photographers using. I couldn't believe how easy it was to use and what a difference it made to the picture. The animations are nice for the Lelutka but they certainly can't make my smile this pretty! Maybe one day SL animations will be this detailed. Stuff I'm wearing from the event...  Oubliette- Persephone Floral Wreath (10L Hunt prize) Oubliette- Moss Persephone Dress Also wearing hair from Stealthic (Harmony)

 Just a few more items I picked up at Ostara's Alter and the Fantasy Faire.  Stuff from Ostara's Alter: Rainn Vamp Corset Gown (the skirt and top are seperate so you can mix and match the colors a bit) Arcana : Narcissus Fae Skin (10L hunt gift)  Other stuff I"m wearing...  This is Wrong - Mandala head tattoo Stealthic - Lavish Hair -FAS- Butterfly Fae Wings (Currently at Fantasy Faire) Picture taken at Sunny's Studio using the Bamboo pose on the Girls A-Le platform

 Today is sort of a yucky day for me, but life to me is about finding the beauty and magick in the simple things.  The top I'm wearing is from Zoom and is the 10L hunt prize at the Ostara's Alter event. It comes with a hud with different colors and patterns. Totally work 10L! Other stuff I have on...  Stealthic - Metropolis hair This is Wrong - Mandala head tattoo Taken at Sunny's Studio using the 116 bento friends pose on the Girls a-Le platform. 

 Got some more pretties from the Ostara's Alter event to share! Event stuff I'm wearing: Eventrya - Mystical Marble of Light Nails rainnn - Spring Bloom Earrings  [QE] Rose Circlet  [QE] Elora Top and Skirt [QE] Elora Belt  Arcana - Raine : Aster Fae Evox Other stuff I'm wearing: DOUX - Chi Hairstyle EarthStones Dark Alchemy Bridal Set  Event stuff I used for poses: Candle & Cauldron - Olde Pond (its got swimmy fish in it!) BamPu Legacies - Ostara's Fetish Golden Ivy Field (its the pretty gold plant behind me)

 Been a while since I've been an active blogger, but I always come back to it. Maybe someone else would find it silly to focus creative efforts towards an online art form, but it just works for me. There is just something about trying to put together an avatar that you can see yourself looking back. I don't mean something that looks exactly like me, but one that is a perfect picture of inner me. My avatar is a self portrait.  She's all the things I've been afraid my whole life to do.  She's my voice and funny enough after all the years of exploring myself in SL.. she's what helped me find my voice in all worlds.  Every day I am more and more like my avatar. Yeah I don't have tattoos (yet) or hair that changes colors every other day, but I'm more adventurous. I'm more willing to say what I want or need. I share my thoughts and stand up for my beliefs. I don't hide myself like I once did. I am brave and confident. And it all came from learning to f...

 Really excited to be blogging for Ostara's Alter, hosted by Dark Passions Events.  The event runs until April 30th and includes a 10L egg hunt. All of the designers have at least 1 hunt prize.  STUFFS I'M WEARING:  Stuff from the event... Arcana - EvoX Skin - Cirice: Blossom Fae !TLB - Tara Dress V4 (Hunt item) Eventyra - Always Ostara nails Stuff I just already have because I shop to much in SL... LeLUTKA.AVALON head !TLB - Blackout Eyes - Grey DOUX - Sam Hairstyle  RAWR! Helix ELF FEMALE EvoX Earrings  BEO_Liona_necklace Asteria "Heaven" Bracelet - Purple  Tutti Bell - "Follow me" eye shadow Pariah - Virus tattoo (veins on skin) OBR - Undead Veins for EvoX Necroego - Triangle Stripes Tights Witch In A Box // Black Boots  friday - Cutie Ring Set (Spring)  Taken at Sunny's Studio using "Always take the scenic route" located on "Girls A-Le Platform"

 I found a pretty phonebooth and I was bored.. so picture! lol What I'm wearing...  Addams // Macy Off Shoulder Shirt  Legal Insanity - Myra flared black pants  Magika - Isabelle

Pain and trauma can make you want to keep the doors of your heart and mind closed. You can't find joy because you have told yourself there is nothing but more pain on the other side of those doors. At first it makes sense because you need time to heal, time to regroup, but after a while its just an excuse due to fear. I think a healthier use of those doors comes from using all experiences as lessons so that when the time comes you can better discern what you let enter and what you keep out, but never to nail them shut. But maybe that is just me :) What I'm wearing...  [Yomi] Delora Hair  Addams // Isabella Boho Shirt  AsteroidBox. Obsidian Boots  Skirt For Maitreya Body - Black  L'Emporio&PL::*My Nails*:: -Graphic Glass- Taken at Sunny's Photo Studio using pose Delicate on the bento platform

 Daisies are definitely my favorite flower. I'm not really sure why. Some think they are just weeds. But there is just something about them, growing all wild and pretty where ever they please. They just plop their happy selves down by the road, in the middle of the woods, in the mountains, by rivers, cracks in concrete.. just all over. They are beautiful little reminders to find your joy and your place to grow quite literally where ever you find yourself and no matter what anyone else thinks.  They are "just a flower" and yet they still manage to not give a F--K, so why should we? Stuff I'm wearing...  [HEAD] LeLUTKA.AVALON [BODY] Legacy  DOUX - Lovegood Hairstyle  -SU!- Hell Freak Sunglasses  .miss chelsea. Jani Tee Legacy Black DEAD DOLL - Aileen Shorts - Tartan#3 (Legacy) Limited Addiction - Stompers - Legacy -  Black 

 Here we go again! Once upon a time, I had a very wonderful blog that I was extremely proud of. I had tons of pictures and so many of my thoughts and ideas.  It was a labor of love and a crap ton of work poured into that site.  Now its gone.  None of it exists anymore.  I won't go into the details of why it no longer exists.  It doesn't serve me well to dwell on that. In fact it hurts if I think about it to much, so.. I won't :) What I will focus on is the fact that nothing stays the same. Everything changes. Everything has an ending. And that is ok.  Its ok because its not really a bad thing. Babies don't come into this world without some pain, but once you are holding that baby.. just wow! All of the pain was worth it. The same is true for all areas of growth. So I take having my work destroyed as a catalyst for learning how to create on my own instead of depending on others. I take it as a lesson. I take it as a catalyst for growth.  So here I ...